5 Tips for Telling Your Kids That You Are Getting Divorced

It is never easy to break the news of divorce, especially to children. Depending on their age, they might not really understand what getting a divorce means or why it is happening. How you bring up the decision that you and your spouse are getting a divorce can make a difference in how your children understand and react to the news. Here are five tips on how you can talk to your children about divorce and break the news to them in a healthy way:

1. Know the Right Time to Tell Them

You should make sure that you figure out the best time to tell your children that you are getting a divorce. If you and your spouse have been toying around with the idea of divorce, you should not bring your children into your conversations. You should wait until your divorce is in full swing or in its final stages before you bring it up with your children.

2. Gather the Entire Family for the Announcement

You should try to make the announcement more like a family meeting--both you and your spouse should be present along with all of your children. You do not want to make it the responsibility of one child to tell the other children about the divorce. 

3. Announce Responsibility for the Divorce

Often, children can feel responsible for their parents’ divorce. When you make the announcement that you will no longer be together, you should try to get the point across that this has nothing to do with the children and was the sole decision of you and your spouse. Using “we” statements, you can help enforce the idea that the choice to divorce was made by you and your spouse together.

4. Expect a Variety of Emotions and Reactions

All children will react to divorce differently, and this is only natural. Do not expect to know how your children will react to the news of your divorce, and let them tell you how they are feeling and what they are thinking. Tears, anger, confusion, and inquiring minds are some common reactions, and your children are likely to experience a mix of emotions. After breaking the news, check in with them periodically to make sure they are processing the news of the divorce in a healthy way.

5. Prepare for Questions

Especially with younger children, questions are normal when hearing news of divorce. “Do you not love each other any more? What will happen to us now? Where will we live? Did we do something wrong?” Questions like these might come up, and the best way to handle these queries is to be as open and honest as is appropriate with your children about the situation.

Hire an Experienced Wheaton Divorce Lawyer

Telling the kids that you are getting a divorce is only one step in the process of ending your marriage. For help with the legal issues pertaining to your divorce, you should hire a knowledgeable and compassionate DuPage County divorce attorney. The lawyers at Anderson & Associates, P.C. can help you settle all of your divorce issues, from property division to child support, providing you with peace of mind knowing that you have a skilled legal advocate on your side. To set up your free initial consultation, contact our office at 630-653-9400.

Sources:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/talking-to-your-children-about-divorce/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-older-dad/201105/mom-and-dad-have-something-tell-you-six-tips-talking-kids-about-divorce

https://www.parents.com/parenting/divorce/children/how-to-tell-your-kids-that-you-are-getting-a-divorce/