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5 Tips for Talking With Children About Divorce

Posted on in Divorce

children and divorce, divorcing couple, divorce process, divorce and communication, talk about divorceDivorce is difficult for everyone involved, and the children of a divorcing couple can be hit especially hard by the news that their parents are ending their marriage. Talking with children about divorce can be difficult, especially when the emotional pain of a breakup is still fresh. Still, it is important to answer children’s questions and help them understand how their lives will be changing. Consider the following tips on how to speak with your kids about your divorce:

1. Be honest and age appropriate. Children will have plenty of questions about why you are getting divorced, and you should be honest with them about the reasons your marriage is ending. However, you should take their age and developmental level into account. There is no need to go into detail about specific conflicts. However, helping them understand that you and your ex-spouse had “grown up problems” that led to the divorce can give them some reassurance during this time of uncertainty.

2. Make sure they understand it is not their fault. Children will often feel that they are to blame for their parents’ breakup, so it is incredibly important to reassure your kids that you are not getting divorced because of anything they did, or that your relationship problems were something they could have resolved. Make sure to let them know that even though your lives are changing, you will always love them and be there for them.

3. Keep them out of conflicts. When the emotional pain of divorce is still fresh, it can be tempting to badmouth your ex-spouse or blame him or her for the divorce. However, children will not be able to fully understand this information, and involving them in these types of conflicts can damage your relationship. Children need to maintain a positive relationship with both parents, so it is best to work to build healthy relationships that will last for years to come. 

4. Let them know what to expect. Divorce will cause major changes to children’s lives, so it is important to help them understand how their routines and schedules will change and answer any questions they have about how your divorce will affect them.

5. Seek professional help. It may prove beneficial to see a therapist both individually and as a family during and after your divorce. A mental health professional can help you resolve any issues or conflicts that arise, and he or she can help children work through the emotional difficulties that they are experiencing. 

Contact a Wheaton Divorce Lawyer

Whether you are considering divorce or have begun the divorce process, the compassionate family law attorneys at Anderson & Associates, P.C. can work with you and your spouse to resolve any child issues that arise. Contact a compassionate DuPage County divorce attorney today at 630-653-9400 to schedule a free consultation. 

Sources:

http://www.divorcemag.com/blog/process-telling-children-about-divorce

http://www.thealternativedaily.com/how-to-talk-to-your-kids-about-divorce

https://www.rd.com/advice/relationships/how-to-tell-your-kids-youre-getting-divorced/

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