Divorce is difficult for everyone involved, and the children of a divorcing couple can be hit especially hard by the news that their parents are ending their marriage. Talking with children about divorce can be difficult, especially when the emotional pain of a breakup is still fresh. Still, it is important to answer children’s questions and help them understand how their lives will be changing. Consider the following tips on how to speak with your kids about your divorce:
1. Be honest and age appropriate. Children will have plenty of questions about why you are getting divorced, and you should be honest with them about the reasons your marriage is ending. However, you should take their age and developmental level into account. There is no need to go into detail about specific conflicts. However, helping them understand that you and your ex-spouse had “grown up problems” that led to the divorce can give them some reassurance during this time of uncertainty.
2. Make sure they understand it is not their fault. Children will often feel that they are to blame for their parents’ breakup, so it is incredibly important to reassure your kids that you are not getting divorced because of anything they did, or that your relationship problems were something they could have resolved. Make sure to let them know that even though your lives are changing, you will always love them and be there for them.
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