Your divorce may have taken a heavy toll on your life, but once the divorce process is over, you have to learn how to live on your own again. When rebooting after your divorce, it can be easy to get stuck in a rut and not know what to do with yourself when the person you have spent so much time with is out of your life.
If you want to make your life after divorce more enjoyable, follow these helpful tips.
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The internet has become a place where you can locate anything. Cute cat pictures, a recipe, or a new husband or wife can all be found online. Many people have turned to online dating to help them romantically. According to market researcher Nielsen, almost 30 million unique users visit dating sites each month, which makes up almost 10 percent of the U.S. population. Online dating has caused a noticeable difference in how people view relationships, marriage, and divorce.
It used to be that people would be much more likely to date someone their friends or acquaintances knew, such as a “friend of a friend” situation. However, the increase in online dating has caused a jump in dating between what essentially amounts to strangers. The people who meet on these dating sites are usually not people who have ever encountered one another before and have no other known connections. They were completely unknown strangers before meeting online, which is significantly different than how relationships formed previously.
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When you go through a divorce, sometimes things slip through the cracks. The mental exhaustion most couples endure means they often do not operate at full capacity day-to-day, which is understandable. It is important, however, to keep up as best you can, and that includes your finances.
There are numerous steps to take during a divorce to protect your credit. Here are some of the key divorce tips to remember:
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When you are unhappy with your marriage and want a divorce, it is important to break the news to your spouse in the right way, especially if they have different feelings regarding your relationship. Reactions vary when confronted with something like divorce, and if the conversation does not go well, it can sour the divorce process significantly.
It is not a good idea to surprise your spouse randomly with your divorce intentions. You should make sure there are no distractions and prepare to have a long conversation. You need time for a lengthy, serious discussion about this new development, and both of you will have a lot to process. Distractions are a hindrance, so get a babysitter for your children so you can have an out-of-home sit-down, and silence your phones while it takes place.
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It is understandable to be concerned about your child’s well-being during your divorce process. It is an emotional and stressful time for everyone involved, especially for children.
To them, it can seem like their whole world is being torn apart. Scientific studies have examined the effect of divorce on children, with interesting results:
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If divorce is something you are considering, or you are in the middle of a divorce case, one of your primary questions may be, “How long does it take to get divorced?”
Going through divorce increases stress and emotions, so it makes sense that you want to finish the process as soon as possible. It does not have to take years, but a quick divorce depends upon multiple elements coming together at once.
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The process of ending a marriage through divorce can be very stressful. In addition to the strong emotions that come with the breakup of a relationship, there are a number of legal requirements that must be met as you work to complete the divorce process. Appearing in court can be especially anxiety-inducing, since you will likely be unsure of what to expect. However, by following these tips, you will be able to successfully accomplish your goals in your divorce proceedings:
Hire an attorney - While you can represent yourself in your divorce, it is not advisable to do so. An experienced attorney can not only help you understand your rights and obligations, but he or she can also offer invaluable insight about the best ways to make arguments, the procedures and etiquette to follow, and what is likely to encourage the judge to rule in your favor.
Be prepared - Be sure you have the required paperwork, financial documents, and any other appropriate evidence ready ahead of time. Talk to your lawyer about what will be discussed at your appearance, the issues you will be asking the judge to decide, and the arguments you will be making. Practice making prepared statements and be ready for questions that you might be asked. By being ready for every eventuality, you will not be taken by surprise by any developments, and you will be able to make a strong argument for why the judge should make a decision in your favor.
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When spouses decide to end their marriage through divorce, they are likely ready to leave a difficult relationship and move on to the next phase of their lives. However, couples with children will need to resolve a variety of issues, including the allocation of parental responsibility and parenting time, and disagreements over these matters can often result in contentious legal battles.
The decisions made during divorce will have a major impact on your and your children’s lives for years to come. Therefore, it is important to protect yourself during this time.
Consider the following mistakes you should be sure to avoid while resolving issues related to children in your divorce:
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In the twenty-first century, we are more connected than ever. Most people carry smartphones with them everywhere they go, giving them instant access to any information they want to look up and making it incredibly easy to connect with friends. But while this level of access provides many benefits, it also has its drawbacks.
Social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat are a major part of many people’s lives, allowing them to share their thoughts and experiences with others. Unfortunately, when you are going through a divorce, the information you share may end up being used against you.
Consider the following tips for how to make sure your social media activity does not have a negative impact on your divorce proceedings:
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When parents decide to end their marriage by getting a divorce, decisions about the allocation of parental responsibility and parenting time can often become contentious. In the past, it was often expected that the mother would retain primary custody of a couple’s children after divorce, but this is no longer the case.
In today’s culture, fathers often take a much more active role in parenting children and enjoy equal or even primary custody of their children after divorce. By taking the following steps, fathers can improve their chances of positive results in divorce disputes involving children:
Be an involved parent - Take an active role in your kids’ lives, attending school activities and sports events, doctor’s appointments, and parent/teacher conferences, as well as spending quality time with them during your parenting time.
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The breakdown of a relationship can be traumatic for everyone involved, and this is especially true for married couples. By the time spouses decide to get a divorce, they are likely ready to get out of an unhappy home situation and move on to the next stage of their life. However, dissolving a marriage can be a complicated process, and resolving the issues that arise when a couple must separate their lives from each other can become contentious, especially when children are involved.
While divorce is often difficult, it can be easier if spouses are able to work together to make the process as amicable as possible. If you are planning to end your marriage in divorce, the following tips can help you get through the process with minimal conflict:
Talk to your ex - When your relationship has broken down, communication with your spouse is likely to be difficult. However, if you can talk things over, letting your spouse know your plans and what you expect during the divorce, you will be able to get through the process more easily. In some cases, couples’ counseling can be a good idea, especially if you have children, since it can help you and your ex prepare to continue working together as parents after your divorce.
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When spouses end their marriage through divorce, their lives are often thrown into upheaval. As they work to find new living arrangements, divide marital property, determine whether child support or spousal support will be necessary, and allocate parental responsibility and parenting time, they often struggle to get their finances in order during this chaotic time.
If you are in the midst of the divorce process, you should take steps to get a clear and complete picture of your financial situation, which will ensure that you are able to avoid difficulties as you work to move on to the next phase of your life. Consider the following tips to help prepare for financial success after divorce.
Be Ready for Big Changes
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When couples get married, they expect to spend the rest of their lives together. And while they may realize divorce is a possibility, they are not likely to expect their marriage to end. However, a significant percentage of marriages do end in divorce, and couples should be aware of the risk factors that can lead to the end of their relationship.
The Riskiest Years for a Marriage
The beginning of a marriage is an especially risky time, and studies show that around 10 percent of divorces occurring within the first two years of marriage. Since the first year of a marriage can often be difficult as couples adjust to living together, they may realize that the marriage was a mistake and decide to end their relationship. Research has also found that men are more likely to be unfaithful during this time, and infidelity is one of the main causes of divorces within the first two years of marriage.
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In today’s connected world, nearly everyone carries a powerful electronic device with them everywhere they go, leaving a trail of information as they browse the Internet, send email, connect with people on social media, make phone calls, and send text messages. While we expect to maintain our privacy when communicating in this fashion, we often relax our security when we are around close family members.
During divorce, spouses may take advantage of this relaxed security and attempt to access their former partner’s email or social media accounts, monitor what they do on their computer, or read the text messages on their phone, all in hopes of gaining information they can use to gain an advantage in divorce proceedings. While it may be tempting to try to access a former spouse’s information in this manner, you should be aware of how the law addresses these types of acts.
The Illinois Eavesdropping Act
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While that commonly-cited statistic that 50 percent of marriages end in divorce is not quite accurate (the actual number is difficult to determine, but it is estimated to be between 40 and 50 percent), most people have some experience with divorce, whether they have gone through divorce themselves, they are a child of divorced parents, or they have a close friend or family member who has divorced.
But even though divorce is an everyday part of American life, it is a somewhat distasteful subject, and this has let some myths about divorce to flourish. Consider the following common misconceptions about divorce of which spouses in Illinois will want to be aware:
The mother will have primary custody of children - The idea that the kids will always stay with their mom, and dad will only see them every other weekend is somewhat old-fashioned, and Illinois law has provisions to ensure that parental responsibility and parenting time are allocated according to how involved each parent has been in their children’s lives, what the children want, and how well the parents can work together as they continue to raise their children following the divorce.
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At the risk of stating the obvious, divorce is not easy. Ending a partnership that has defined your life for a long period of time is an emotionally difficult process, and dealing with the financial upheaval of divorce, the need to establish new living arrangements, and the effects on your relationship with your children and other family members can cause a great deal of stress.
People going through divorce are likely to experience anxiety and depression, and they may have trouble coping with the loneliness that can come with their newly-single life. However, by following these tips, they can not only survive this difficult time, but build a successful new life for themselves:
Take baby steps - Divorce has forced you to make some major changes to your life, and you will need to go about rebuilding your day to day life to fit your new reality. However, it can be hard to move on from your feelings of anger and sadness and get started making these changes. Remember that you do not need to do everything at once. Take it one day or even one minute at a time, focusing on what you need to do next as you work toward your goals.
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Divorce is difficult for everyone involved, and the children of a divorcing couple can be hit especially hard by the news that their parents are ending their marriage. Talking with children about divorce can be difficult, especially when the emotional pain of a breakup is still fresh. Still, it is important to answer children’s questions and help them understand how their lives will be changing. Consider the following tips on how to speak with your kids about your divorce:
1. Be honest and age appropriate. Children will have plenty of questions about why you are getting divorced, and you should be honest with them about the reasons your marriage is ending. However, you should take their age and developmental level into account. There is no need to go into detail about specific conflicts. However, helping them understand that you and your ex-spouse had “grown up problems” that led to the divorce can give them some reassurance during this time of uncertainty.
2. Make sure they understand it is not their fault. Children will often feel that they are to blame for their parents’ breakup, so it is incredibly important to reassure your kids that you are not getting divorced because of anything they did, or that your relationship problems were something they could have resolved. Make sure to let them know that even though your lives are changing, you will always love them and be there for them.
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When a couple ends their marriage in divorce, each spouse should be able to maintain a standard of living similar to what they experienced during their marriage. When one spouse earns more than the other, the lower earning spouse may be eligible to receive spousal maintenance (also known as spousal support or alimony).
While the formula for determining the amount and duration of maintenance is straightforward, courts have some discretion when determining whether maintenance is appropriate.
Illinois statutes list 14 factors that a judge should consider when deciding whether to grant maintenance:
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