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Tips For Asking Your Spouse For a Divorce

Posted on in Divorce

Wheaton Divorce Attorneys

When you are unhappy with your marriage and want a divorce, it is important to break the news to your spouse in the right way, especially if they have different feelings regarding your relationship. Reactions vary when confronted with something like divorce, and if the conversation does not go well, it can sour the divorce process significantly.

Choosing a Time and Place

It is not a good idea to surprise your spouse randomly with your divorce intentions. You should make sure there are no distractions and prepare to have a long conversation. You need time for a lengthy, serious discussion about this new development, and both of you will have a lot to process. Distractions are a hindrance, so get a babysitter for your children so you can have an out-of-home sit-down, and silence your phones while it takes place. 

Talk, Do Not Accuse

Your spouse will have many questions, and a lot of feelings typically come out during initial divorce conversations. If your spouse starts to accuse, belittle, or lash out, it is important you do not retaliate and react emotionally. The desire to retaliate is natural, but in order to have the smoothest process possible, you should resist the urge. One common tactic is to use “I” statements, and not “you” statements, to make it clear you are not saying it is entirely their fault. Tell them you understand and appreciate their feelings, but that divorce is best for the long-term happiness of the two of you and your children.

Be Prepared

Since you are married to this person, you will presumably have an idea of what their likely reaction will be. Use that knowledge to prepare yourself for how they will react, and also to decide what to say and how to say it. Thinking through some probable reactions and identifying the best way to discuss the problems you have as a couple will help both of you during the divorce process. 

Contact a Wheaton Divorce Attorney

Once you decide you want a divorce, you need a knowledgeable divorce lawyer. The attorneys at Anderson & Associates, P.C can assist you with compassionate and detail-oriented legal counsel to help ease the burden during a stressful time. Contact a DuPage County family law attorney at 630-653-9400 for a free consultation.




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